aging fisherman

Getting old with Fishing addiction I’m not that old yet – pushing 60 is not that old. However, it won’t ever get confused with being young – even to most older folks. Being married during this aging process makes the whole experience much more bearable. There are hiccups that should be avoided however. A few years ago, I was on one of the open party boats out of Port San Luis. We were fishing somewhere around Diablo – when I started to get uncomfortable. I don’t usually get seasick – so I didn’t know what the hell it was. As time went on, I got progressively more uncomfortable – and the sensation started to switch to pain. Pain in the lower abdomen. A short while later, I curled up in a fetal position and couldn’t move. Captain Sal called PSL Harbor Patrol – who promptly came out in their overpowered inflatable and picked me up. Back at PSL – an ambulance was waiting for me. This is the first time I had ever ridden in an ambulance. At the hospital, they found out I was passing a kidney stone. Had no idea passing a kidney stone could be this debilitating – and painful. My wife Pam comes into the ER and what’s the first thing I say to her? ‘Honey, I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to go fishing anymore!!!’. As the undaunted king of afterthought, I have had many regrets about that one. More recently, I have suffered torn retinas in both eyes. Until recently, a ‘floater’ was something I saw in the toilet. Well, a few months ago, the ophthalmologist found a torn retina and floaters in my left eye - now I am the proud owner of a right eye with ‘floaters’. The ophthalmologist says it is a relatively common occurrence – as we get older. What next? The recent movie – ‘The Bucket List’ makes more and more sense as I get older. The part where Jack Nicholson’s character says – ‘There are three things you learn as you get older – never trust a fart, never waste a hardon and never pass up a bathroom’. Well, the question of trusting gas as gaseous without solids is not as age-related as all of that. I am convinced most if not all folks shit their pants. They just don’t all admit to it. I freely admit to it now. So, really it is the admitting part that is related to age – not the shitting your pants part. Doesn’t seem that long ago, that I would wake up in the middle of the night with a piss-hardon and dang if I could bend it to be able to pee in the toilet. I would end up peeing in the shower – that way, I wouldn’t have to wait for eventual pliability. Now, despite the condition – it is pliable enough to bend in a downward direction. And yes, if there is an available bathroom – I ask myself more than once, ‘do I need to go?’. And more times than not, I go in anyway – you know, the ‘hearing water makes you want to go’ thing – and somehow, the proximity makes me want to go anyway. So what does all this have to do with fishing? Not much I guess. I just repowered my boat with a nice Honda outboard – and here I sit, in front of the computer typing this….not able to go because I just had surgery to repair my second retinal tear. Joy.